Jenny Lee – AP Camp 2019

During the training in Philippines, my concept of enjoying eternal life and prayers has been renewed. In the past, my enjoyment when drawing near to God was based on how much I can focus or what I have gained. Based on that measurement, I often thought I did not enjoy enough and that the time was not well spent. I easily felt tired because I thought I did not do enough. But I forgot that enjoying eternal life includes every part of my life with Him. No matter big or small, His presence is with me. Also, the enjoyment is not about what I gained or about gaining any good feelings. Having an active spirit is the key to enjoy Him. My spirit is active when I decide to reach to Him, talk to Him and respond to Him. His presence and the peace I had was the greatest proof that I had been enjoying Him. After realizing this, I felt relieved. I wouldn’t feel burdened to spend longer time before Him and think that I didn’t enjoy enough. Now I know I can enjoy Him in my day, and I am enjoying Him now.

For prayers, I often find myself not having enough time to pray every day for my family, colleagues, brothers and sisters, ministry, gospel and for the work overseas. It seemed difficult to accomplish this and even harder to pray in detail. Without praying everything on the list, I felt my vision was limited to things only concerning myself. When we went through Psalm 139 and Psalm 5:3, it reminded me that the Lord knows me and knows all my thoughts. My prayers not only count at the time when I pray out word by word, but also when they were just thoughts. I practiced directing my thoughts and entrusting the matter to the Lord without saying a word. For example, when praying for overseas, my mind can easily think of all the countries, the brothers and sisters in those countries and their needs. Then I would present those thoughts to Him. I know that He has considered my thoughts and that my prayers have reached Him. By doing this, I found my capacity increased and it became easier for me to pray. All my burdens can easily be cast on to Him. I am happy that it’s no longer difficult to pray more and to pray for others.