Even though I knew that I’m the Lord’s first love and compatible darling, I cannot fully comprehend it. And so I often feel that I’m not good enough, especially when I did something wrong. Lately I have been under attack a lot from the enemies – not sleeping well, suppression, temptations, and these made my spirit feel even more down and tiresome. I couldn’t have enough time to draw near to Him and let Him really comfort me, until today when I listen to the bro/sis sharing about the Feb 19th meeting in HK. My eyes and my heart were opened to see that I am indeed the Lord’s first and eternal love! The Lord really already tried to disclose that I’m His dearest when He create Eve out of Adam’s rib. He again, let His side be pierced to show how He loved me to a point that His heart was broken. And even more precious, He chose to keep His wounds of love for me for eternity. Forever, He is the Lamb that was slain. I’m so touched that He really re-affirm His love again and again consistently from eternity to eternity.
But I would wonder, why am I so special? Why is the church so special? Why is it worth it for Him to go through so much to gain us? I saw that we can satisfy Him! We chose to believe in Him by faith, not by sight; we chose Him over the sinful and selfish ways; we chose to love Him more than other things! This delights Him so so sooo much! He can never find another person who can love Him back like this. When I see this, I really see my compatibility with Him. I really was too focused on my flaws and failures; I was not set free to love Him back. It’s so precious that He asked Peter if he loved Him three times. If Peter constantly recalled that He had denied the Lord, how could he have the strength to preach and bring 3000 people to believe? I really should not continually dwell in the accusations and shadows, but to see that I do really love the Lord, and be His carefree darling!
He is always calling for me, always, always. No matter what condition I am in, He never gives up on calling for me. He wants me to plunge myself in His sweet bosom and embrace Him back with the greatest faith. I shall stay strong in Him to overcome all and fight this fierce battle!