The Lord really spoke to me through this week’s Parent Zoom and the Friday message. I realized that I focused too much on myself (my own feelings, my own inadequacies and lack of skills to contribute, etc.) and I ended up making myself an outsider in this family.
Whenever I started to compare, it never ended well, because I never felt good enough. It was such a damaging and depressing feeling. It took away all my joy and gave me guilt and shame. But the Lord encouraged me to really focus on His love and grace. His grace covers all my imperfections…so there is no need to look at myself. I just need to dwell in His river of love.
A photography technique that I use when I take pictures makes a good analogy to remind me: Focus on your subject and the rest becomes blurry (like the verse in the hymn: “When You kiss me, I forget the world”). And when there’s no focus, everything is a blur. I’ve got to choose the right focus. The messages this week reminded me that the focus shouldn’t be on myself, but the Lord and the Church. I still have so much to improve on, but all the Phone Sing worships have been so helpful and so good! I just need to keep resting in His embrace and focusing on Him.