When I was very young, I had followed my family to worship my ancestors and go to temples. From there I was told that there are gods and power from above that would help us and watch over our behaviors. As I have been suffering from eczema since I was under 1 year old, I have always been hoping that there would be a god to help me to get healed.
After I learned about the universe and the Big Bang Theory in grade nine, I became fascinated about how orderly the universe was—moons, planets, and stars rotate by themselves and also orbit around the larger entity and how nature came to be, such as weather, and wondered if the traditional Chinese concept of “God will punish you if you do bad things” was right. From my teens to early adulthood, I had come to the conclusion that some form of supernatural power must be governing the whole universe and keep everything within it in order.
When I felt lost about my future and wanted to have a change to my character and bad habit.
When I was very young, my mother and grandmother asked me to worship idols and ancestors. But back then, I got the idea from TV shows what these “gods” are. I also feared darkness and ghosts. This caused me to seek help and security from these “gods.”
I was unhappy about myself because I felt I was not a good person. I also did not understand my meaning of life. I felt it was pointless to live when we will die one day. Therefore I became selfish. But I wanted to be happy and change. I tried many self-help books, but ultimately felt only God can help me. I was attracted by His forgiveness. I was also attracted by others’ testimonies of how God changed them. I saw that they were genuinely happy and I wanted that.
I lived with my grandma when I was young. She is a Christian and she gave me the values of what’s right and wrong about God.
My parents used to take us to a Buddhist temple when we were younger. I would kneel down and worship idols. Back then, I felt that it gave me a sense of peace. These feelings, combined with the fact that I saw many people worshipping those idols, made me believe that God had to exist.
I first thought about God when I was studying at a Catholic elementary school. My impression was that I was told by the school assembly that praying the Lord’s prayer can help to forgive my sin. I had knelt down at my bed to pray before I went to bed. I did not understand the content of the Lord’s prayer, but I insisted in doing so for a about a month.