I want to set my focus on the Lord – Jenny Lee (Alpha)

Since we started to share about God’s standard and the Redeem Your Time program, I became more aware of how I used my time. I made some adjustments with my gap time and cut all unnecessary screen time. It was an easy adjustment, but I still felt something was missing.

During a Wednesday night prayer meeting, when we prayed for the younger ones, the Lord also told us he misses us and desires our first love to Him. I also felt the Lord misses me greatly. I thought it was only because I didn’t have enough personal time, but that night, I felt something inside me was still struggling and I ended up crying a lot before the Lord. I realized the Lord was asking for my love. I didn’t understand it at first, but the Lord made me see that although some things I was doing in life or in ministry seemed right according to His will, the focus wasn’t on Him. My heart and mind were somewhere else, and I didn’t even notice. I thought about my husband, and I realized the Lord doesn’t want me to only focus on supporting him to respond to His commission. He wanted me to know that my love and my heart for Him is more important and He wanted me to remember my first love to Him.

Then at the Friday night meeting, we read about Peter given the highest glory for his death because the Lord knows that was Peter’s desire. I was reminded of my desire for Him that night. My desire was wanting to give more time to Him. I knew the Lord remembers. I told Him my desire after the AP camp in 2019, and then when the pandemic hit, I had more time because I was able to work from home. Now I also want to set my focus on Him again and give my time to Him. Since then, I feel more free and have more space in my heart to let Him talk to me.