When I was ending my last year of university, I faced great challenges in my studies. I had not gotten good marks at all and was asked to withdraw from university. Also, the night before my last final for that semester, one of my close friends from high school urgently contacted me and told me that one of my friends from high school had committed suicide. I felt I had to deal with many things at that moment. Although many tried to support me and give me advice and suggestions, I still didn’t know what advice I could take and who I could truly rely on. I felt life was fragile and can easily pass by without any meaning. At that time, I came across a bible verse in Proverbs 3: 5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” When I read this, I agreed with it fully. I felt that I could not lean on mine or man’s understanding, yet the one that I could fully trust with my heart is God. He is who I need to obey and follow. This uplifted my faith to trust in Him despite the situation I was facing. I felt that He was worthy of my full trust and I began to have hope and strength in my heart.
These past few years, I experienced God’s personal love to me through different events and trials in my life. In 2013 and 2014, I was studying to get into nursing school. I did not do well in Statistics – one of the prerequisite courses for several nursing schools. I was only eligible to apply to BCIT, the most difficult of all the nursing schools in BC, with the prerequisites that I had. I prayed very hard that I would be accepted, especially because I feared disappointing my father, who had hopes for me to become some kind of professional. God heard my prayers and I got accepted through a very competitive intake process. I struggled very hard through the first semester of nursing school. By the end of the first semester, I realized that nursing was not suitable for me. It was a difficult decision for me to leave the nursing program. I was very disappointed as I had already graduated from university, but was not working as a professional. I wanted to become a nurse so that I could do something good for God with my life.
In January 2015, I prayed that if God cared for me, He would show me. At the prompt of my mother, I applied for a job at her workplace and within weeks of my prayer, I was able get hired. It was God’s gift to me as the first day of work landed on my birthday!
After 15 months of working at the company, I quit my job to go on a missionary trip with my church in March 2016. When I came back, I had plans to try Early Childhood Education and started volunteering at a pre-school for a few months from April to June. During that time, in May, my dog became ill and my family decided to put him to sleep, as it was the only way we could help him.
The next month, on June 7th, I was in a minor car accident in which the other driver was at fault. I suffered from whiplash. I felt that God protected me because it was a very simple car accident and the other driver was honest to take responsibility. I felt that the timing of these events, God caused to work together for my good, because had my dog fallen sick after the accident, it would have been much more difficult for me to care for him and to bear because of my injury. Also at that time, I had been feeling very tired all the time and a sister from church who works in healthcare suggested I take a blood test. I got a blood test done, just in time, as I found my iron levels and red blood cell count to be very low. The doctor recommended me for iron supplements, and slowly, but gradually, my health is improving.
After the car accident, I started going for physiotherapy, and through the clinic where I was getting treatment, I was able to get the idea to inquire to apply for a job at the clinic. I applied to that company for a job and asked sisters from my church to pray for my job interview. In September 2016, I was hired at the clinic’s other branch location as a receptionist.
When I look back, I see God has been taking care of me and has personal love to me in my life, whether at home, in my health, in studies, or in career. Through my prayers, and through the Church, I experienced God’s response to me. God caused many things to work together for my good according to His love and plan for me.
There are several accounts when God appeared to me in my life, so deeply, that I could not deny His presence and care for me. One point in my life, a rather recent example, was when I was going through my practicum for the final portion of my degree. I have always been very shy and quite self-kept, so when it came to starting my internship, I couldn’t even imagine myself transforming into a self-assured, confident, and competent individual who could speak and work with patients, doctors, pharmacists, and many others, on a professional level – which is what you would expect from any working person. Although I’ve always aspired to be a person of inspiration and of service, I wasn’t so sure of how I could get there. Feeling terribly nervous and anxious the entire summer before my practicum, I reflected on my feelings and goals with God, and He revealed to me His plan and reasons for me to go through this internship. It is not only to transform me from student to professional, but to build my faith through challenges, testify and glorify Him in the process amongst my colleagues, fellow interns, family and friends. To train me in my skills, whether it be taking initiative to reach out and connect with strangers, or working with team members of various personalities that may not complement your own, or know how to live with Him and trust in Him, because all these can be used for His will.
Although I have successfully completed my program, graduated, and am now working, it was certainly without its’ fair share of challenges. Each rotation pushed my limits in every way. I was tired from being at the hospital for 8-10 hours a day, then going home to study and complete assignments for another 2-3 hours. My self-esteem was being beat up from the constant comments from my preceptors, as they point out every mistake I made that day. I felt incompetent. There was even a time when I was only 3 weeks away from completing my 10 month practicum, that I had a concussion and needed to take an 8 month hiatus from my studies. Yet through the whole process, brothers and sisters, and God encouraged me and supported me through it all. Faith was one of things that I had control over. I spent time to be with God and His family almost every day. The strength, joy, hope and promises that I received from God were what gave me the fuel and persistence to face each new day. Although my limits were pushed, I realized that it just meant that my capacity has expanded. I feel that I’ve gone through a battle with Him. Not against anyone, but it felt like one that spreads His love and presence through my life as a testimony. He was the one who comforted me, “Fear not, my love, for I am with you always.” He was the one who promised me, “I have good plans for you; plans for you to prosper.” I trusted His plans for me. He was the one who assured me, “I know your thoughts and feelings from afar off. I have known you before you were formed in the womb.” Who else can comfort me in such ways? Who else can cause me to rejoice in the face of storms and waves? Only God could give me the strength, hope, joy to keep going, and to see that He is building my faith and transforming me to be more glorious, not for me, but all for Him!